Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Pain & Depression

Ahh, but to have an entire 24 hours without pain!!
No, I don't think I'd really like that because if things went back to normal the next day it would depress me even more!

I have what I believe now is a pinched nerve in my lower left back area complicated by Fibromyalgia. I have had this pain for at least three years now. I have degenerative disc disease in my cervical area and my lumber area. I was out walking my Siberian Husky in March 2001 (if anyone has ever had a Siberian Husky you know you don't go for a walk, you go for a drag)! Well Tlingit was going at a normal trot like the lead dog does, pulling me right along and he saw a rabbit or mouse, and he took off after it taking me along with him. Only I fell flat on my face on the road, knocking the air right out of me. I was going at a fast pace for a walker (5mph) and I weigh over 200 pounds, so the fall was a really hard fall!! When I hit the pavement I kept scooting for a few feet. I got road rash on my face, and hurt my neck and lower back. It hurt for a few days then was better.
About 2 months later I had a virus and woke up one morning with excrutiating pain!! I have never in my life experienced such pain! I couldn't roll over in bed. It took me about 1/2 hour screaming and maneurvering myself out of bed into the bathroom. I went to the doctor, he sent me to an orthopedic, he did MRI's, etc, then sent me to a Neurosurgeon who told me they could operate on my neck or see how I do with a steroid shot. I opted for the shot. By the time I got the shot it was August 2001!! It took three months to get to the solution! It seemed to work for the upper back area, but I still had a nagging pain in my lower left back area (not sciatica because it doesn't radiate down my leg). My regular doctor gave me 60 Roxicet (Oxycodone) and sent me home. One pill knocked me out for a day!! After a while the pain wasn't as severe. I got a big pillow that is in a wedge shape so I don't lay flat, I put bungee cords from my closet to the bed so I can pull myself out of bed. I also put bungee cords in my bathroom to pull myself out of the tub. When you live alone you figure things out really fast!!
In December this year my lower left hip area started getting worse so I went back to the doctor and he sent me to yet another neurosurgeon who asked if the shot worked last time and I said kinda. so he sent me back to Dr. Chang and this time he shot me in the right area. He apologized if it hurt, and I told him it was a good hurt because it hit the right spot. Well that only lasted about two months. Now the pain is back to excrutiating debillitating horrifying PAIN!!
So, I went to the doctor yesterday and he gave me 30 Vicadin 5/500mg. I got home and took one and whooops!! I bent down to pick something up from the floor and about passed out!! I decided to go lay down in the bed. WRONG!!! The whole world was spinning!! I decided the pills are much too strong so I will only take 1/2 pill from now on!!
Now I am not a doctor, but the pain seems to worsen when I have a virus and it seems to settle in the weak area, so the area swells and aggravates the pinched nerve. The shots will take away the inflamation which I decided I'll go for another shot. But it doesn't stop the pinched nerve effect!! They cannot find a pinched nerve in any MRI because they are very difficult to see.
This too shall pass. It is just not a good feeling to go to bed and dread waking up to pain!! It kinda takes the fun out of a good nights sleep!! All this pain has put me in a depression, but I'll get over it. Now a big glass of brandy would make me feel better, but the problem is I wouldn't bother with the glass!!
Well I am going to take another happy pill and sit in my recliner!!
Nite-nite all!!

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