Thursday, June 30, 2005

My eyes before.......liner tatoo.

Well here is a picture of my eyes today.
I, tatooed!!
I am actually going to get eyeliner tatooed on my eyes!!
No, not like Michael know who, but thin lines just around my eyes.
No, not circles, but thin lines to accent them.
My sister is having nightmares over it!!! She thinks I am going crazy and will come home with my lips all puffed up like Goldie Hawn in "First Wives Club". NO! Just the liner around my eyes. I put on makeup in the mornings, and by noon all my makeup is gone.
I am trying to write my blog right now and I have two wild and crazy little Mexicans dancing around me trying to get my computer! ("Beavis & Butthead")!!

So, later, folks!

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Awww, sweet dreams kitty kitty!!

I haven't had a very remarkable week so far. My band practice didn't happen. (bummer)!! There was some contradiction of schedules, but it will happen!
I am determined, and I think it will be fun!

I talked with my friend that is having a bad time tonight. She said she has an appointment with her doctor tomorrow. I asked if he called her and she said no, then I told her I called their office and told the nurse how destitute she is. I told her everything I told the doctor and that I hope the doctor can give her some places to get help. I told her that I mentioned her drink last year and her depression, and isolation and the suicides of her father and brother, the death of her mother three years ago and the depression she cannot get out of. I also told her when she can get settled and taken care of, then I will go get her and pull her back to reality and make her do some AA steps and to get on with her life!!
HA!! That won't happen! Well maybe!

I feel good now. Especially since I read Joan's blog!! She has a FART JAR!!!HAHAHAHA

Happy Hump day everyone!!

Advice for the day:
Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

Sunday, June 26, 2005

I feel Whacky tonight!

I got this as an email awhile ago and everytime I see this I can just imagine the feeling this cat has when everybody laughs at him!! He probably went and peed in their car!

Anyway, I had a marvelous day today! Our Church "Christ the King" had a dedication ceremony today for the new branch we started here in Coupeville in January. We have had some major shake-ups. The first Pastor quit because of indifferences from the other Church (we question not). We loved him and his family! We got an interim Pastor that is great, and they finally hired him as fulltime Pastor! We greeted him today and accepted him and three other Pastors from in town here showed up to bless the ceremony. The first Pastor that had quit came back today with his family and has accepted this as his Church again!! PRAISE THE LORD!! What a happy day it was. We each brought smooth flat rocks and built an altar, then took the rocks home with a sticker on them to keep in our gardens. The stickers say:
Christ The King
"...know that the hand of the Lord is
mighty, so that you may fear the Lord
your God forever." Joshua 4:24

It will stay in my rock garden by my front deck. At times we will be asked to bring them back to build another altar.
I have gotten alot of satisfaction and community in this Church. I wish everyone could find something as good in their life. It felt so good to sit next to our first Pastor and his wife!! We were all crying and welcomed him home!

Tomorrow I go to my first real band practice with my new conga drum!!
We will see if I am cut out to be a real drummer or have it sit in my house for looks!
Hope everyone has a great Monday!!

Never laugh at anyone's dream.
People who don't have dreams don't have much.

Saturday, June 25, 2005

We all need a hug once in awhile!

Friday night AA is a great end to my busy week! I get all the hugs I need there.
We had a small group last night but we did some heavy sharing. The subject was "principles before personalities".
That covers Tradition twelve: Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place priciples before personalities.
Alot of times there are some people that show up that we don't "approve" of. Their lifestyle is not a good lifestyle, they keep going out getting drunk then come in the meeting saying they want to quit but can't. So who am I to say I don't "approve" of them? I was one of the rare lucky ones that quit and stayed that way! I have a very close friend that was sober for 12 years then had a drink last June. She told me she had one sip of wine. I smelled the sour smell of drinking through her pores before that. She was approached by someone else that told her they smelled alcohol and she denied it. That was two months before she admitted to taking that drink of wine. She came to one AA meeting after that but never came back. She says she is not ready. She ended up getting fired from one job and got mad at me because I knew about it before she told me. She hasn't talked with me for at least a month. I found out she got fired from her other job so I called her to see if she was ok, and we spoke for awhile. I didn't ask her if she was drinking, I just told her "to thine own self be true".
I was coming home from Camano Island last Wednesday night and stopped by her house. She had on a large t-shirt and nothing else, she was not wearing her teeth. She looked horrible! She doesn't take care of herself, she is in a huge depression and is just waiting to be evicted from her house. She is waiting for the telephone company to turn off her phone and the same with her cable. She is 58 years old and is just sitting there waiting for something to happen. I went home depressed as heck! I prayed about it and the next day I went to work and called a few friends and they feel the same as me. She has just shut us all out of her life. She lost her mom about three or four years ago and has not recovered from that loss. She lived with her mom and took care of her. Her mom died from Alzheimers.
I called her doctor yesterday and told the nurse my concerns. I told her that she is depressed, and her father and brother both committed suicide. I told her about the alcoholism and was worried for her safety. I told the nurse that she is now in their hands to help if they can.
I cannot just sit here and watch her die like this! I love my friends and this one has taken so much out of me! I cannot let her live with me and I refuse to give her money.
Everyone needs to take a look at their life once in awhile and say THANK YOU LORD!!
I do every night!
Whew, this is heavy, but that is what went on with my life yesterday!
Have a great weekend!!

Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Calgon...take me away!

WHEW!!! This is a busy weeek! We have had two public meetings, one last night until 7pm, and tonight I got home at 9pm. I am tired and heading to my Jetta tub for a fine soak, then to bed! Thanks everyone for all the great comments on my AA anniversary! Friends make you rich indeed.
Speaking of which....Tonight I got home and had a message from a gal I sponsor and she said she had a drink of gatorade with just a tiny bit of wine in it and her daughter caught her! I told her she wasn't ready to quit, and she said yes she was! I told her that twice now she has called me and it is when her daughter has caught her, and if she really wanted to quit it should be for herself, not anyone else! She said it wasn'tr even strong! HAHAHAHAHA DUH...alcohol is alcohol! period! Near beer is beer. WHO THE HECK ARE YOU FOOLING???
The poor thing, I told her what she didn't want to hear. I told her that she didn't like the other sobriety date so she just changed it to June 22, 2005.
She is going to come over to my house this weekend and start working the steps. hehehehehehehe that'll teach her to call me!
Life is Gooood!!

When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

Monday, June 20, 2005

My 18 Year Chip!!

Eighteen years ago today I got drunk (God willing) for the last time!
I was married, working as a bartender, was a member of the volunteer Fire Department and worked part time on the local ambulance as an EMT.
June 21, 1987 there was a call for an overturned sailboat with 6 people in the water off the West side of the Island in Puget Sound. The water here is always about 49 degrees, so hypothermia sets in within 20 minutes, so we were rushing to get them out of the water. A Navy helicopter was picking them out of the water one by one, and we would run under the rotor blades and get the victims from the helicopter and rush them to the ambulance on a backboard. After the rescue the team went to the Tyee for drinks. After we closed the Tyee I came home and got into the scotch. My husband was working as Jailor at the Sheriffs department and got home at midnight. I fell into bed about 4am, and about 5:30 I was told I was woken up by the Sheriffs deputies and was told to go to the hospital because a friend of mine was in labor and I wanted to witness the birth. I "came to" in the operating room as the baby was born. I have no recollection of the time between when I went to bed and came to in the operating room.
I made a complete fool of myself in front of all my hospital friends.
The next day I was working on the ambulance and told the paramedic I was working with that I will never drink again! He made a bet with me that I wouldn't go 6 months without a drink. At the time he said that, I thought 6 months!! That is a long time! He made a $50.00 bet and the rest is history!!

My life is great now, and I wouldn't trade it for anything!! I received an email anniversary congratulations from a fellow AA that I have never met. The fellowship is great!

Saturday, June 18, 2005

My Dear Daddy!!

I posted this last year on Fathers Day, but I feel the need to again, and probably every Fathers Day. For all you people out there that still have your fathers, write a letter to him to let him know how much you love him. You might never have the chance again. It is so important to let the people you love know what they mean to you. SNIFF!!

Love letter to my Dad!
September 23, 1994

Dear Daddy,

Tomorrow you are being taken to Careage of Whidbey because you have a broken hip. It will only be for two weeks. I know how frightened you are, but please be reassured that we are not putting you away in an old folks home!! I love you too much to do that.

All my life you have been my hero. Ever since I was a baby I had to sleep with your boon-dockers for re-assurance that you were near. Mom said you even had to come home to feed me.

I was so afraid that you would come home from the Ranger Cruise and divorce mom. I prayed that if that happened that I would go with you.

When I started dating I was so afraid that you wouldn’t like my boyfriends.

When I married Larry, I thought I found someone to fill your shoes. He seemed to be a lot like you, but not really. He didn’t do the handy things around the house that you were so good at. After 13 years of marriage I realized it was no good.

You were such a good husband for mom. You sat back and let her do her thing, and waited for her to settle down. I’ve never seen anyone take their marriage vows so seriously. You haven’t even taken off the wedding band. You must have really loved her. I hope she knew how gifted she was to have found you. I’m sure glad she did.

All three of us kids love you very much. Do you realize how lucky you are to have three kids love you? I wish I had at least one!!

When I was pregnant and in Virginia I was so lonesome for home, and when you called me and asked me to come home, my heart burst. You and mom were right by my side through the whole still-born thing. Dad, I’m so sorry I put you through all of that!! I started drinking really hard after that, and I was totally out of control. I know now I must have put you through Hell. I’m so sorry for all of that. Please forgive me. I’ve been sober for 7 years and three months now, and realize that my life was a mess before. I’m trying my best to live a normal life now. Thank you so much for being my dad. I don’t know what I would do without you here.

It breaks my heart to see you laid up with a broken hip. Dad; Mary Lou, Mike and I are right by you to get you through this. Things will work out. I want you to get better, so we can go to Alaska and explore. You have a lot more years ahead of you if you follow doctor’s orders.

Please know we are with you through all of this.

I love you dearly!! Phyllis

I wrote this letter to my father when he was in the hospital with a hip replacement surgery. Mom died in January 1993. They were married for almost 50 years. We didn't show much love or hugs growing up, but we did love each other. I felt the need to tell him how much he meant to me! He died November 7th 1996.
I Miss you terribly dad, and love you with all my heart!!
Thank you for all you did for me!!

Happy Fathers Day to all you fathers! You are loved!! Really!!
A Great Dog Story!!

Mary and her husband Jim had a dog, Lucky. Lucky was a real character.
Whenever Mary and Jim had company come for a weekend visit they would warn
their friends to not leave their luggage open because Lucky would help
himself to whatever struck his fancy. Inevitably someone would forget and
something would come up missing. Mary or Jim would go to Lucky's toy box
in the basement and there the treasure would be, amid all of Lucky's favorite
toys. Lucky always stashed his finds in his toy box and he was very
particular that his toys stay in the box.

It happened that Mary found out she had breast cancer. Something told her
she was going to die of this disease...she was just sure it was fatal.
She scheduled the double mastectomy, fear riding her shoulders.

The night before she was to go to the hospital she cuddled with Lucky. A
thoug ht struck her...what would happen to Lucky?
Although the three-year-old dog liked Jim he was Mary's dog through and
through. If I die Lucky will be abandoned, Mary thought. He won't
understand that I didn't want to leave him.

The thought made her sadder than thinking of her own death. The double
mastectomy was harder on Mary than her doctors had anticipated and Mary was
hospitalized for over two weeks.

Jim took Lucky for his evening walk faithfully but the dog just drooped,
whining and miserable. But finally the day came for Mary to leave the
hospital. When she arrived home, Mary was so exhausted she couldn't even
make it up the steps to her bedroom. Jim made his wife comfortable on the
couch and left her to nap.

Lucky stood watching Mary but he didn't come to her when she called. It
made Mary sad but sleep soon overcame her and she dozed. When Mary woke for
a second she couldn't understand what was wrong. She couldn't move her
head and her body felt heavy and hot. Panic soon gave way to laughter
though when Mary realized the problem. She was covered, literally blanketed
in every treasure Lucky owned! While she had slept the sorrowing dog had
made trip after trip to the basement and back bringing his beloved
mistress his favorite things in life. He had covered her with his love. Mary forgot
about dying. Instead she and Lucky began living again, walking further and
further together every night.

It's been 12 years now and Mary is still cancer-free.
Lucky? He still steals treasures and stashes them in his toy box but Mary
remains his greatest treasure.

Live everyday to the fullest...because every day is a blessing from God

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

I am just BURSTING with JOY!!

Today was an ordinary day at work, I was out doing some time checks for possible new routes coming up, and on the way to Oak Harbor I stopped at the Post Office to check my mail. I got a notice from my doctor. I was nervous opening it, because I went to the doctor Friday for some bloodwork to see how my Diabetes is doing since I took myself off insulin on March 18th.
Like the not so patient person I am, I ripped the envelope open immediately! What I saw just made me go numb. Triglycerides....238, below 250 is desirable. the doctor checked NORMAL!! When they diagnosed me with Diabetes a few years back, they were in the 600's!! I read down, and the A1C said 5.9, when I was diagnosed with Diabetes, it was 13!! The doctor again checked NORMAL!! The doctor checked the box that said Continue with your current plan and see me as needed!!
I yelled out "PRAISE THE LORD"!!!
The woman in the Post Office next to me just looked at me like I was crazy. I AM!! Crazy with JOY!! I was singing "Trading My Sorrows" as I was leaving the Post Office:

I'm trading my sorrows
I'm trading my shame
I'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord
I'm trading my sickness
I'm trading my pain
I'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord
And we're singing

Yes Lord, yes Lord, yes yes Lord
Yes Lord, yes Lord, yes yes Lord
Yes Lord, yes Lord, yes yes Lord, Amen

I'm trading my sorrows
I'm trading my shame
I'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord
I'm trading my sickness
I'm trading my pain
I'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord
And we're singing

Yes Lord, yes Lord, yes yes Lord
Yes Lord, yes Lord, yes yes Lord
Yes Lord, yes Lord, yes yes Lord, Amen

I am pressed but not crushed,
Persecuted not abandoned
Struck down but not destroyed
I am blessed beyond the curse
For His promise will endure
That His joy is gonna be my strength
Though the sorrow may last for the night
His joy comes in the morning

I'm trading my sorrows
I'm trading my shame
I'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord
I'm trading my sickness
I'm trading my pain
I'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord
And we're singing

Yes Lord, yes Lord, yes yes Lord
Yes Lord, yes Lord, yes yes Lord
Yes Lord, yes Lord, yes yes Lord, Amen

And we're singing
Yes Lord, yes Lord, yes yes Lord
Yes Lord, yes Lord, yes yes Lord
Yes Lord, yes Lord, yes yes Lord, Amen

Yes Lord, Amen
Yes Lord, Amen!

I just wish everyone could feel the joy I feel today!!
I truly do!!

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

A beautiful happy couple!

I'm still using Sunday's pictures. I like this picture I took of Ellen and Curtis Sunday. They went Whale watching Monday and we had excellent weather yesterday so I sure hope they had a great trip!

I was sitting here and Mary Lou called to tell me there was a 7.9 earthquake in California. By the time I turned on the tv it was downgraded to a 7.0 and located off the Coast of California near Crescent City. I wonder if the mountain is ready to blow now? It's been awfully quiet.

I just ordered a new cellphone. I drove over my other one in the parking lot at Walmart. I was ready for a new one anyway. The new one is an i710 Nextel, so it has the free walkie-talkie feature that I love. Also the speaker phone feature. I'll get it Friday and I might be able to figure out how to use it by next year.

Well time for the Jetta-tub and bed to read for an hour and wake up with the thud of the book hitting me when I drop it on my face in my sleep. Then I'll go to the bathroom and be wide awake at midnight then come out here and get on my computer for an hour and go back to bed at 3:00am and toss and turn and go to work all sleepy then start all over again tomorrow night!! Ahhhh.

* Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Fun was had by all!

Well I finally met my first blog buddies today! Ellen and Curtis flew out to Vancouver to go on a whale watching tour and to visit with Ellen's brother, and Cowboy Joe lives in Richmond, and Mary Lou and I live on Whidbey, so we all met in White Rock Canada. We all laughed until we hurt, and had a blast! Ellen & Curtis are everything I thought they were! Even Cowboy Joe! I got home at 10:30, and now it is 11:00pm and I am going to bed!

I've learned....That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your

Friday, June 10, 2005

Peeping Tom-Cat!

Ahhh, Friday is here and about gone!!

I had a tremendously busy week. I love it when I am busy and things go right.
I don't really want to talk much about my work, but I have been doing double duty as I do at least once a year when we are hiring and training new Operators. We are expanding some routes so I have been trying to get all the numbers together, and training the drivers too. Also I sign up new Paratransit riders and visit them at their houses and get their pictures. I am on salary so I balance out the hours at the end of the week. Today was too busy to go home early so I will catch up another time.

I got to my AA meeting tonight and there were only about 17 people there when we usually have about 40. Hmmm, they must be cured! I wanted to stay home and get comfortable, but I'm glad I went. A friend of mine shared that her mother died last night from pancreatic cancer at 71. She is lost and starving for some spirituality, but cannot grasp the idea of God. I keep hugging her and tell her I pray for her. What else can I do? I have invited her to go to Church with me, but she doesn't want to. She has a horrid story and doesn't want to open her soul right now. I hand her to God and pray for her. I told her tonight that when my mother died I was feeling spiritually bankrupt and started going to different Churches to "find home". I like a few but never felt at home there. I found the Church I go to now two years ago and we expanded to the Church here in town in January. It is a small Christian Church oozing with love. We get hugs when we meet, and welcome all newcomers. We are a congregation of about 40 so we are small.

I go to AA Friday nights and Church Sunday. I have a great balance in my life now, and wouldn't trade it for a thing! I love unconditionally and it is returned. Whew! I almost feel guilty for the Serenity in my life now.....almost....I worked hard at it, and made a few right decisions.

Have a great weekend folks! My sister and I are going to Canada on Sunday to meet Ellen and Curtis and!! WHOOT!!! I will take pictures!!

I've learned...That under everyone's hard shell is someone
who wants to be appreciated and loved.

Monday, June 06, 2005

My House and Roses


Okay, So I left this morning to go to work and decided to take a quick picture of my roses before I deadheaded them for the week! Aren't they pretty?

I got to work at 8:00 and didn't get off until 6:00 tonight! Whew, I wish someone would sneak into my office when I am out training new drivers and do the work that is piling up on me! But that ain't gonna happen! Job security.

We have alot of public meetings going on this month with the new service we are starting so I will be really busy and might not have very much time to post for the next few weeks.

Don't give up on me Dave, I am still here, just busy. I'll catch up later. Enjoy the week!!

I've learned....That it's those small daily happenings that
make life so spectacular.
Roses are Blooming

I love this time of year when the plants that were planted and roses that were pruned in early Spring is blooming. This is a picture from a friends yard, but mine are blooming too. I'm just too lazy to go out there this morning and take a picture.

Saturday I ran some errands in Oak Harbor and took Hannah a "Mocha Moolatte" from Dairy Queen. You'd think she died and went to Heaven! She just loves surprise visits with any kind of food! The Nursing home is so depressing all she does is watch television and lay in bed.

After visiting with her I decided to pop in and visit a new gal (40 days sober) I am sponsoring in AA. I kinda knew where she lived so wanted to see for myself. I very seldom "pop in" to visit people, I like to give warning. The poor gal was a nervous wreck. Her house was cluttered, but didn't look bad to me. She was talking a mile a minute and was fidgety. I gave her a hug and left. Yesterday she called me and said she drank on Saturday. She said she had ONE SIP and heard my knock!! After I left she finished the bottle. I told her I didn't smell anything but I had a suspicion because of her behaviour and she couldn't look me in the eyes. I told her that most people don't get it at first and will relapse a few times before they decide that sobriety is what they want. She was fine, and says she really wants sobriety, but that she is bogged down with personal problems and over worked, and she wanted a drink. I told her that she used to reward herself and look forward to coming home to her drinks and it is hard to break the habits. I told her to replace the "drink" with a cup of Cammomille tea instead. Bless her heart, she now has the "Fear of Phyllis" in her. She thinks that I have ESP and will "pop in " whenever she starts to have a drink from now on!! HAHAHAHA I didn't tell her any different, if that is what it takes!! But actually I have no idea why I went there. I just had a strong feeling to go visit her. Hmmmmmmm.

I am sure grateful that I got it the first time and have never relapsed! GOD willing, in 15 days I will celebrate 18 years of continuous sobrietry!
Hope everyone has a great Monday! The worst is over....the Monday alarm!!

" We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our heads."

Friday, June 03, 2005

Bus on Parade

WHEW! This week flew right on by! I am getting heckled to post again. snicker..snicker.
I really don't have a whole lot to say. We had our big Memorial Day Parade last Saturday and decorated the bus all patriotic like and had it in the parade. A gal from our Citizens Advisory Committee would get out of the bus when there was a pause in the parade and throw her arms up and bow down to the bus, and the driver would "kneel" the bus for her. I guess the crowd really liked that. The buses kneel for passengers in the rural areas because the step is really high to step up on from the ground. Buses are designed for city traffic and picking passengers up from the sidewalk and a 4" curb.
I've been busy all week training 4 new Operators for driving these 35' buses. It takes about 2 months to train people and get them on the road. (about 300 hours of training). Then I get back in the office to do my "regular "work that nobody does for me when I'm out for 6 hours a day training.
Wednesday night I went to our Bible study and our new Pastor visited the group and we all had a nice 2 hour chat and prayers with him. I think we all are more than satisfied with him.
As far as the drum...It will take me about a month or so of practice before I can get up and play it for Church. But at least I bought one. Now I have to learn it. hehehehe that's how my mind works.
Well I need to get back to work and debrief one of the newer drivers after his shift and then run to my much needed AA meeting!! Then home to soak in a hot bath in my Jetta tub! Ahhhhh, calgon take me away!

Words that soak into your ears are whispered ... not yelled.