Saturday, June 23, 2007

Returning to old behaviours

Last night at our AA meeting we discussed "old behaviours".
To an alcoholic that can mean many things, but the bottom line is, we better watch out, or it could lead us to drink.
I have noticed in the twenty years I have been going to AA meetings and hanging around sober drunks, that most of us have a tendency to have a crisis in our lives. We call the ones that have alot of crisis one right after the other, "Drama Queen's". We suggest to get off your "pity pot" and do something about it and get on with your lives. Don't get me wrong, we all have crisis at times, and we in AA rally around the ones having a crisis and help them through it. It helps to keep them (and us) sober. But some just seem to keep doing the wrong things or saying the wrong things (that will be me):-).
I realized last night that when I was drinking, I would wake up the next day with dreaded guilt. I either said the wrong thing to someone, made an ass out of myself (quite often), flirted with someone in front of my husband (yep). scratched my car, drove to the wrong house thinking someone else was parked at my house, lost my keys (from the car to the door) and slept on the front porch. etc, etc, etc. Now you can see why I'd wake up with that guilty feeling.
In sobriety I wake up every morning instead of "coming to". I don't have that horrid guilt feeling. So when someone gets mad at me for something I said (quite often), I get the guilty feeling coming back. I think the worst and fret on it all day. I hate that feeling. It causes undue stress and is crazy.
Why can't I just leave it be, make amends and forget about it? I'm working on that.
The twelve step program is great!
Step three is "giving it to God". The big "G" word is hard for some people to take so they just ignore it and keep their old habits.
AA also helped me to learn to forgive and move on. What a gift to be able to truly forgive a person. A big weight is lifted when you do forgive. It is a great feeling of accomplishment to me to be able to forgive someone.
AA brought me to God, and now I have a great little Church I go to and I use my AA gifts to help people in my Church and lead them to AA.
I think God had his hand in this. he is using me to reach out to some people and help them. You know what? I LOVE it!
Have a great week. Yikes, July 4th is right around the corner!!

Stay safe on the roads this Holiday!
And buckle up!! Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Paul Potts

Oh my gosh, if you haven't heard of Paul Potts yet, you certainly will.
Go to this you tube site:
He made me cry. I am not an opera fan, but he made me cry. I love his story!

Monday, June 18, 2007

Ain't he Puuurrty?!

Friday night was the "Birthday" night at my AA group. A dear friend brought me these beautiful roses to celebrate my 20 years of sobriety.
Wow. I'm not there yet, Thursday June 21st will be my 20 year mark, so I will show you the chip then, but I couldn't keep from sharing these beautiful roses! (And my handsome kitty)!

I hope everyone's week is going good. It is still cold here, but will warm up soon I hope.

Life is too short for long pity parties.
Get busy living, or get busy dying.

Sunday, June 10, 2007


I came home from Church this morning and had steak and eggs (num), put a pot roast in the electric fry pan, then I went to bed to read for awhile. About 4 hours later I woke up and panicked. It was daylight and I wondered what time it was, I panicked and thought I was late for work. It was 5:07. Hmm, it is early, I don't need to be to work until 8:00. WAIT A MINUTE, I'm dressed! Egads, it is still Sunday!
I jumped up and smelled the pot roast (Or should I say beef jerky).
HAHAHAHA Oh well I might get a few sandwiches out of this.

We had the installation of our new Pastor tonight at 6:00, so I freshened up and got there in time to greet everyone with my CPAP mask lines all over my face. HAHAHAHA We are family here and we all love each other. It was a nice ceremony then we had dessert and coffee.
Now I need to get ready for the second phase of my Sunday napping and get to bed!
Hope everyone has a great week!

It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
But the second one is up to you and no one else.

Saturday, June 09, 2007

But for the Grace of God, there shall go I....

I Thank God every single day for my sobriety.
I mean it. I could be dead by now or worse off, drunk every night.
I went to my AA meeting tonight and a gal I used to sponsor came in. She hadn't been to an AA meeting for two years. She had over 12 years sobriety then quit going to meetings.
She isolated herself and shut me out of her life. I finally had to let go and give her to God. I couldn't help her and I was making myself sick trying. I found out last year that she had been drinking.
She called me a few nights ago and asked why I never call her. I suspected she was drunk but wasn't sure. I know now that when I suspect it, then it is probably true.
We used to talk every night. I found out she was lying to me and telling me her health was going downhill, and that she shook because of a "condition".
Well yeah, the condition is called booze.
I found out tonight that she has been drinking vodka daily. She is trying to wean herself off by going to wine then to beer. She had 1/2 beer today to keep from going into convulsions.
My gosh, this gal looks horrid, and has aged 20 years in the past few years!
She used to take pride in her looks, and kept an immaculate house. She now lives in a very messy house. I cried, and she cried. I hugged her and told her I was here for her if she wants to help herself, but I cannot worry about her like I did before.
She has to be honest.
What happened? She quit going to meetings, that's what happened!
She isolated herself and let herself get into a severe depression then drinking kept her there.
She lied to me, to her doctor, and to herself. She gave up on life and numbed herself with booze.
I HATE ALCOHOLISM!!!!! It took my mother, it has and is ruining many lives, and it is UGLY!
Alcohol is just a symptom of a deeper disease. Depression, bi-polar, whatever.
Thank you Lord, Thank you Lord, Thank you Lord for my sobriety!!!
God willing and the creek don't rise I will have 20 years of sobriety on the 21st of this month!

Remember the three R's:
Respect for self;
Respect for others;
and responsibility for all your actions.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Elliott again

This morning at 6:00am I was sound asleep, and woke to a loud THUNK!! My heart was beating fast and loud. I sat up in bed and noticed Punkin at the foot of the bed looking down. I got up and walked around the bed and there was Elliott. He had this dazed look and was shaking his head. Well I'll be darned!! He fell out of bed! The cat sleeps like a log, and he must've rolled over and fell on his head or back.
The silly thing. I was worried that he hurt himself, but after awhile he was walking around then purring. What a nut!
Ahhhh, tomorrow is FRIDAY!!! YAHOOO!!

Don't take yourself so seriously.......No one else does.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

My water kitty

Whe I take a bath, Elliott comes in and watches. He is amazed at the water that comes out of the faucet, then it stops. Sometimes it just drips, and he jumps in the dry tub and waits for the water to come out.

There goes one, right there! Hey mom, make it do that again, will ya??? Huh??

I was in the shower the other night washing my hair and noticed he had jumped up on the edge of the tub between the two shower curtains and he was batting at the drops of water that was rolling down the clear inside curtain.......Naw, I wouldn't do that! I would not pull the curtain open to let him get wet. Nope, I sure wouldn't do that.....hehehe.

When you say, "I love you ," mean it.

When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.