Saturday, June 09, 2007

But for the Grace of God, there shall go I....

I Thank God every single day for my sobriety.
I mean it. I could be dead by now or worse off, drunk every night.
I went to my AA meeting tonight and a gal I used to sponsor came in. She hadn't been to an AA meeting for two years. She had over 12 years sobriety then quit going to meetings.
She isolated herself and shut me out of her life. I finally had to let go and give her to God. I couldn't help her and I was making myself sick trying. I found out last year that she had been drinking.
She called me a few nights ago and asked why I never call her. I suspected she was drunk but wasn't sure. I know now that when I suspect it, then it is probably true.
We used to talk every night. I found out she was lying to me and telling me her health was going downhill, and that she shook because of a "condition".
Well yeah, the condition is called booze.
I found out tonight that she has been drinking vodka daily. She is trying to wean herself off by going to wine then to beer. She had 1/2 beer today to keep from going into convulsions.
My gosh, this gal looks horrid, and has aged 20 years in the past few years!
She used to take pride in her looks, and kept an immaculate house. She now lives in a very messy house. I cried, and she cried. I hugged her and told her I was here for her if she wants to help herself, but I cannot worry about her like I did before.
She has to be honest.
What happened? She quit going to meetings, that's what happened!
She isolated herself and let herself get into a severe depression then drinking kept her there.
She lied to me, to her doctor, and to herself. She gave up on life and numbed herself with booze.
I HATE ALCOHOLISM!!!!! It took my mother, it has and is ruining many lives, and it is UGLY!
Alcohol is just a symptom of a deeper disease. Depression, bi-polar, whatever.
Thank you Lord, Thank you Lord, Thank you Lord for my sobriety!!!
God willing and the creek don't rise I will have 20 years of sobriety on the 21st of this month!

Remember the three R's:
Respect for self;
Respect for others;
and responsibility for all your actions.