Sunday, August 15, 2004

End of the Weekend so Soon!

Well I had another busy weekend and cannot believe it is 8:00 Sunday night already!! I still feel kinda yucky so I am staying home tomorrow and relax.
I took my friend Hannah to lunch yesterday and then went to Costco and spent more than I wanted then went to the mall and got home at 7:00pm.
Today I took a friend of mine to a women's AA meeting. She went back out drinking last month after years of sobriety and hasn't had the courage to go back to a meeting so I got up and took her today. It was a good thing as there was another gal that came in and talked about how all she wants to do is feel "normal". She feels like she doesn't belong anywhere and hates it! I reflected that I have never felt normal or that I never really fit in anywhere.
So what defines "normal"? there isn't a "normal" part of me! I'm not even a "normal" alcoholic!
I have not gone to treatment, I didn't drink on a daily basis and I didn't get drunk everytime I drank. I was a binge drinker and had a blackout once in a while. I have not gone back out drinking since I came into AA, and I don't plan on it. I cannot imagine going back to drinking right now. I probably would be dead in a year! My friend has felt shame and disgust in herself since she went back out, and I feel bad for her. I can't tell her not to feel the shame because I know I would feel the same. That is the one bad thing about AA. We celebrate years of sobriety and applaud the "oldtimers" that have many years built up. (I guess I am considered an old timer with 17 years of sobriety). So when someone goes back out drinking their self esteem goes right down the drain. Bill W. and Dr Bob that started AA both were having problems staying sober, that is why they began Alcoholics Anonymous. Even after they got together and started AA they slipped. So nobody is perfect. AA is here to help us stay sober one day at a time, not 10 years at a time. It is a 24 hour program!! Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.
Okay, I'm off my soapbox!!
I then went to my sister's place for a barbecue and watched the chicken burn!! Heeheehee. It turned out good. I see she snuck a picture of me and posted it!!! Paybacks are HELL!!
Well time to get something done.
Happy Monday to all!!

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