Monday, December 22, 2003

Countdown

I found out why I am so tired and feeling icky. I have a secondary upper respiratory infection. The doctor put me on antibiotics, so maybe I will finally be rid of the flu that hit me in November!! That explains why I really didn't feel like doing anything during my week off!! I am going to clean house tonight then bake whatever I can tomorrow.
It was fun at work today. Everybody is in the festive spirit, and half the people in the office is off. The Paratransit had a heck of a time trying to get on the base today because of the code orange I guess. I sure hope nothing disasterous happens during the holidays. Or any time for that matter!!
Well I better get off this computer and get SOMETHING done!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL MY FEMALE FRIENDS!

If I were ol' Santa, you know what I'd do
I'd dump silly gifts that are given to you
And deliver some things just inside your front door
Things you have lost, but treasured before.

I'd give you back all your maidenly vigor,
and to go along with it, a neat tiny figure.
Then restore the old color that once graced your hair
before rinses and bleaches took residence there.

I'd bring back the shape with which you were gifted
so things now suspended need not be uplifted.
I'd draw in your tummy and smooth down your back
Till you'd be a dream in those tight fitting slacks.

I'd remove all your wrinkles and leave only one chin
So you wouldn't spend hours rubbing grease on your skin
You'd never have flashes or queer dizzy spells
and you wouldn't hear noises like ringing of bells.

No sore aching feet and no corns on your toes
no searching for spectacles when they're right on your nose.
Not a shot would you take in your arm, hip or fanny
from a doctor who thinks you're a nervous old granny.

You'd never have a headache, so no pills would you take.
and no heating pad needed since your muscles won't ache.
Yes, if I were Santa, you'd never look stupid
You'd be a cute little chick with the romance of cupid.

I'd give a lift to your heart when those wolves start to whistle
and the joys of your heart would be light as a thistle.
But alas! I'm not Santa. I'm simply just me
the matronest of matrons you ever did see.

I wish I could tell you all the symptoms I've got
But I'm due at my doctor's for an estrogen shot.
Even though we've grown older this wish is sincere
Merry Christmas to you and a Happy New Year.