Monday, June 21, 2010

Summer Solstice

Today is Summer Solstice marking the longest day of the year (for daylight). 23 years ago today I had the worlds worst hangover and it happened to be my last.

It has been a long road, sometimes hard sometimes easy, but during that time I never let alcohol be an option. There were times last year that tested my strength when my brother was dying of cancer. I hurt all over with my arthritis, fibromyalgia and all over PAIN. Stress brings that on. Not to mention the pain inside me that just wanted to be numb. I went to some meetings and told them I wanted to be numb. I don't want to feel pain anymore!! The doctor did give me some vicadin to ease the pain some. I have addictive behavior so that scared me. I only took it on Friday nights after the long week at work. I stayed away from meetings because I just wanted to isolate and relax in my house away from everything! I do not advise that to anyone. It was too easy to stay away from meetings. I still take the vicadin but not like an addict would. I need to relieve the pain sometimes. It wears a body down living with pain. Some people would say I should change my AA date if I take pain pills. Bullshit on that folks, I did not take a drink. The doctor says take 1-2 every 4 hours. I take 1-2 on Friday nights period. Try living with all this pain. no, don't.

Anyway, I went to the "AA Birthday Chip night" on Friday and picked up my 23 year chip. There were about 40 people there and alot of people reflected on how I helped them in their sobriety. It was very humbling. I now realize I need to go to those meetings to help others, not just for me!

I have the philosophy "If it ain't fun, I'm outa here"! That means AA meetings too! Life can be fun without drugs or alcohol. In fact if you laugh alot it loosens up the endorphins in you that releases morphine from your body which makes you feel giddy. Exercise does that too!!


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