Tuesday, March 30, 2004

The Alcoholic/Addict

What makes a person go out drinking/drugging when they know they have the addiction and it could make them lose everything they have? What puts them to that point? Antsy is a good word. They feel like things are just going too good, and that is bad!
They are used to "living on the edge" and when things are going good they have no adrenaline rush to keep them going.
I was lucky!! I quit drinking 16 years and 9 months ago, and have never had a drink since. but I did not sit at home thinking about it. I was working (still bartending) and also in the volunteer fire department. I was trained to be an EMT and was hired on to work part-time on the ambulance. I used up alot of adrenalin on those jobs!! I left my husband and got hired on a new transit company starting here. I was too busy to think of drinking.
I also went to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings three times a week. I do believe that if I did not attend those meetings I would be back out there drinking or worse yet, dead!! I was one of the stupid ass drunks that thought I could drive better drunk!! (That is until I started working on the rescue squad and did the extrication of bodies and screaming drunks out of their cars).
I sponsor a few gals in AA and try to help them work the 12 steps and stay sober. There are the ones that just cannot or will not get it!! They call me and tell me they are doing ok, and the next thing I know they are back out there drinking! They call me and wimper about how bad they were, and will really stay sober this time. then again they are back out there. I used up all my sympathy on them. I give as much as I can, share my experience, strength and hope, then let them choose what they want to do. I refuse to go hold their hand!! If they want to get sober they will. I will not enable their addiction. I pray for them and tell them to call me when they are ready to get serious with their program and not before.
Sound tough? You betcha!! I'll do anything to help another person get sober and get on with their lives, but I refuse to sit back and keep giving them sympathy!! They need to do the footwork!!
If anyone reading this needs help, you can E-mail me ( p.brett@verizon.net ) and I will keep whatever you say between us!!
God be with you.