The past few weeks...months I have not been feeling well at all and very depressed. I decided to turn myself over to God totally and prayed for His guidance to do something about my weight and overall health. I have been praying ALOT.
Well He answered through my small group Bible study gals. A gal that works with me came to me two weeks ago and told me her and another gal have been worried and want to help me. They said they love me and worry about my health and do not want to see me in a wheelchair, going on dialysis or having a stroke. They both joined weight watchers and are feeling great. They asked (begged) me to join too. I am very hesitant to do that because I do not want to be weighed in front of myself, much less anyone else. I went on-line and found I can do that on the internet and it is for my eyes only. Counting points!! Blecchkk! I HATE that! Writing down everything you eat! YUCK, I HATE that!! Count calories, fat content, fiber, points!! Discipline, discipline, discipline!! CRAP!
It is easy to quit smoking, you just don't smoke, period. Drinking too. Just don't drink, period. Eating is another story. Being diabetic is a double whammy. You are told to eat 5 small meals a day. to weigh the portions, to balance them, plan your meals. Eat this, eat that, don't eat this, don't eat that. You aren't eating enough calories to lose weight. WHAT?!
Your mind is full of food all day long!!
For the past two weeks I have been preparing my mind for this new lifestyle. Not a diet, a new lifestyle. I was appalled that they were selling snack foods at the weight watchers meeting I went to last Wednesday. (Oh yeah, I decided to go to the stupid meetings too). Why encourage snacks?
Well my blood sugars went from the 200's two weeks ago down to 115 this morning, 87 Wednesday afternoon. It has been gradual but getting there. I do believe the prayers are a big part of this. God has blessed our small group and has used each of us to help each other. They all want to lose weight too. We are encouraging each other. I feel better already. I don't feel as bloated as I was.
I spend most of my energy helping others and praying for them and have put myself up on a shelf. I guess now it is time for me to worry about myself and get to doing something about it! I didn't realized how much I am loved. What a blessing having each and every one of my sisters loving me and praying for me.
I am sorry to have put everyone in the spot to worry so much about me. (This is my amends). As you know I am a 12 stepper. I posted the twelve steps on my blog beginning May 16th and finished last week. It has helped me look at myself in a different light and concentrate on helping ME. Step one: I am powerless over my health:
"We admitted we were powerless over alcohol--(health)
That our lives had become unmanageable".