Saturday, July 24, 2010

Well I am ready to talk about this.

The past few weeks...months I have not been feeling well at all and very depressed. I decided to turn myself over to God totally and prayed for His guidance to do something about my weight and overall health. I have been praying ALOT.

Well He answered through my small group Bible study gals. A gal that works with me came to me two weeks ago and told me her and another gal have been worried and want to help me. They said they love me and worry about my health and do not want to see me in a wheelchair, going on dialysis or having a stroke. They both joined weight watchers and are feeling great. They asked (begged) me to join too. I am very hesitant to do that because I do not want to be weighed in front of myself, much less anyone else. I went on-line and found I can do that on the internet and it is for my eyes only. Counting points!! Blecchkk! I HATE that! Writing down everything you eat! YUCK, I HATE that!! Count calories, fat content, fiber, points!! Discipline, discipline, discipline!! CRAP!

It is easy to quit smoking, you just don't smoke, period. Drinking too. Just don't drink, period. Eating is another story. Being diabetic is a double whammy. You are told to eat 5 small meals a day. to weigh the portions, to balance them, plan your meals. Eat this, eat that, don't eat this, don't eat that. You aren't eating enough calories to lose weight. WHAT?!
Your mind is full of food all day long!!
For the past two weeks I have been preparing my mind for this new lifestyle. Not a diet, a new lifestyle. I was appalled that they were selling snack foods at the weight watchers meeting I went to last Wednesday. (Oh yeah, I decided to go to the stupid meetings too). Why encourage snacks?

Well my blood sugars went from the 200's two weeks ago down to 115 this morning, 87 Wednesday afternoon. It has been gradual but getting there. I do believe the prayers are a big part of this. God has blessed our small group and has used each of us to help each other. They all want to lose weight too. We are encouraging each other. I feel better already. I don't feel as bloated as I was.

I spend most of my energy helping others and praying for them and have put myself up on a shelf. I guess now it is time for me to worry about myself and get to doing something about it! I didn't realized how much I am loved. What a blessing having each and every one of my sisters loving me and praying for me.

I am sorry to have put everyone in the spot to worry so much about me. (This is my amends). As you know I am a 12 stepper. I posted the twelve steps on my blog beginning May 16th and finished last week. It has helped me look at myself in a different light and concentrate on helping ME. Step one: I am powerless over my health:

"We admitted we were powerless over alcohol--(health)

That our lives had become unmanageable".

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hang in there Phyllis! Lost 80 lbs and was able to make the transition from insulin to oral meds after 18 years. Still need to get the final (I hope) tweaks for the dosage levels for the oral meds. Overdosing was a big problem after I had a stroke a few years ago. Haven't beaten the smoking yet - think I'm a chronic addict there.

JimBob

Phyllis said...

Well hello Jimbob!
Congratulations on your weight loss and going off of insulin!! YAHOO!! I did that about 6 years ago but had to go back to insulin because I am allergic to metformin and the other drugs. I am so chemical sensitive, it is ridiculous! If you really want to quit smoking, go to the 12 steps (May 18TH on my blog). Step one, you are powerless over your addiction to cigarettes. When you are ready it will happen. It was really hard for me to quit smoking, as I was still bartending. But I did it. I was still bartending when I quit drinking, too. I guess I love to suffer! hahaha
Great to hear from ya!!

Mary Lou said...

Well Finally!!! I have been so very very worried, and knew you were not ready to talk about it. Sherry said she thought you were just about ready to do something. I am so glad! I hope that when you find out the chemical analysis next month, they will tell you you can tolerate the pool, and come back to aquarobics again. It really has helped me.

ANd HEY THERE JIMBOB!!

keewee said...

Phyllis I joined WW a few years ago, I only had a few pounds to lose but with the support of the group I managed to get back on track and lost the weight. Of course I have since gone through menopause, am no longer working a 40 hour week walking most of the day, so I had to be realistic when i gained a few pounds back. As long as I stay around my present weight (what is preferable for my height and age) I am happy enough.
I had to have a serious talk with myself and realize I AM NOT as young as I was and I WILL NOT be a size four ever again. Yikes, when I say size 4 I can't believe I was that small. *chuckle*
Well, Phyllis, I commend you for taking your health in hand, and having loving, caring friends to lend support will, and has already made it easier for you to stay on track. Keep up the good work.
love
Jennifer

Sally said...

Yes, indeed you are ALWAYS thinking about and helping others, Phyl. I'm so glad you've taken this step in addressing your health. Good for you, girl. I'm so proud!! I also thank you for the talks we used to have about 'you know who' and wanted to tell you, you were right; they are now divorced.

((hugs))

Carla said...

Good for you. So happy to see that you're taking control of your health. I'm pulling for you!

Phyllis said...

Keewee, Good for you for sticking with it!
Sally, thanks, and it doesn't surprise me at all (the divorce).
Thank Carla, this ain't gonna happen over night, that's for sure!

Dick said...

Good for you! My Annie was a Life Member of WW and really believed in the program. It is not a diet but if you work it you will relearn what and how to eat. I think it is far more likely to last. Most people can loose some weight on diets but when the end the program, the weight comes back on because they return to their old habits. WW DOES work.

dick said...

Now you're the last person that I thought would be grumpy.
Sounds like you could use some authentic Dick.
Hiya, girly!

Anji said...

Phyllis, I was so busy with my own worries I missed this post.Time to look after you and not be afraid to ask for help.

One of the nicest parts will be the compliments from your doctors

Joan said...

I too went to weight watchers in 1974 I believe it was. I lost the 25 pounds I set out to loose.

What I learned there has stuck with me all these years. Yes, I gained about 20 back at one point, but I had the knowledge on how to eat properly and just set my mind to loose it again. That was the last time. Ever since then it just comes naturally for me and I don't even think about it. I don't have to measure food etc. I just know what to eat and when I am full. Stick with them until you get the hang of it and you will be able to handle it on your own after that. If not, they will always be there.
Good Luck and take care.

HEY...HI JIMBOB!!