Saturday, April 07, 2007
Today is Easter.
What does Easter mean to you? I mean what does Easter REALLY mean to you?
I know as kids we were brought up with the Easter bunny and candy and new shoes and frilly dresses with bonnets. I never really thought of the true meaning of Easter as a kid. My mom taught us about Jesus and talked about Him, but when she got into her heavy drinking she didn't have the time to spend with us kids, and my poor younger brother suffered the most through her drinking. Don't take me wrong, I loved my mother dearly. And I truly forgive her her drunkeness.
For years and years I spent my life in fear. A day didn't pass without me thinking of death. I don't know when the fear started, but I was neurotic with fear. I had panic attacks when I was in my teens. I'd go to bed at night and lay in fear of falling asleep in case I didn't wake up.
"Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
If I should die before I wake
I pray the Lord my soul to take."
Maybe that prayer gave me the fear of falling asleep. Who knows.
I know one thing, when I finally surrendered to Alcoholica Anonymous, and started working the 12 steps, it was step three that helped me get rid of my fear.
3. Give my will and my life over to the care of God as I understand Him".
That was the first time I had a Spiritual Awakening. I didn't feel the earth quake under my feet or hear the Angels singing, but I realized one morning that I went to bed without fear the night before. I It was also about the time my mom died, and I was feeling empty inside. I truly surrendered to God and gave Him my life. I told God that my life is His now, and His will be done. It's amazing how much easier each day is now just by giving up MY will and accepting things as they come along. I trust in God and trust His will. I found a Church to go to and from there I found a small Bible study that has helped me understand the story of Jesus Christ. The study I go to has a mix of people from different Churches and backgrounds, (Lutheran, Catholic, evangelical, Methodist, etc. We read out of about 6 different Bibles. Mine is called "The Life Recovery Bible" a new living translation from the Tyndale House Publishers. It is a great Bible for FRecovering Alcoholics, and has little footnotes on the 12 steps in each chapter.
They all mean the same. I am in awe of the stories, and understand alot more now. I do not go preaching to others or shun their Faiths, as I don't want to be shunned either, but I am at times. I just pray for that person and feel so very very grateful I found God when I did. I feel the holy Spirit strongly at times and feel at peace with myself and my life. I am no longer afraid. I celebrate today with a great feeling of hope for eternal life, and have a great appreciation of what Jesus went through to give us eternal salvation and the gift of forgiveness.
Thank you sweet Jesus!
I found this site a few months ago and enjoy the sermons he gives. This is one on Easter.
Enjoy if you'd like, if not, Happy Easter anyway.
Posted by Phyllis at 9:54 PM