Wednesday, November 26, 2008

My Gratitude list

Today I am Thankful for alot.
I am thankful for my brother.
My brother was diagnosed with adinocarcinoma of the peritoneum last year and was given three months to three years. (Cancer in the sac in the abdomen).
He is still with us.
He was taken off of Chemotherapy a month ago because it wasn't doing what they thought it should, and he was sick alot. Well this past week he was sick again and Sherry took him into the emergency room tuesday morning at 2:30. She sat by his side all day long. They admitted him and will keep him yet another day just to see if he will be able to keep things in him. My heart breaks for him. We don't want to see him in so much pain but we don't want him to die either. Sherry has such love for that man.
I am thankful for Sherry.
He has what I have been searching for all my life. A spouse that loves him unconditionally. She was crying the other day telling me how much she loves him and the song "He gives and takes away" kept playing in her head. God gave her Mike and now he will be taking him away. I told her we might still have him for a few more years. We have given him to God and asking for His will not ours be done. That is so hard to do, but in order to keep our sanity we need to keep our Faith and know that whatever happens is for a reason and is in God's plan not ours.

My Faith has grown so much in the past few years. I have lost most of my fears.

I am thankful for my Faith. I come home from work and have no one to vent to and the trials I am put through sometimes can be too hard to bear, and the only person I feel I can turn to is God. I am constantly giving myself to Him. What I mean by that, is I trust in Him that His will is better than my will. I am thankful for every trial I am put through because that makes me turn to God and trust in Him. It has taken years to get to this point but what a freedom to not feel the fear I used to feel.
I am thankful for my sobriety. Without that, I would have nothing. Actually, working the twelve steps brought me to Faith.
I am thankful for my health. I have Diabetes which has weakened my immune system and whatever I am exposed to I come down with it. I also have arthritis. The pill arthrotec 75 they just put me on has been a wonder drug for me! I am so thankful that I don't have MS or some other debilitating disease.

I am thankful for my three cats that love me and fight over me when I come home.

I am thankful for my sister that loves me and is my friend. and her daughter Donna and son Tim, and my brother's son Galen. All are healthy and clothed and have a warm bed.

I am thankful for my freedom. Thank you to all the military folks that are out there fighting for our Country to keep us free.

Ah, life is good.

Update: Sherry and I had a quiet dinner at my house, after she took my brother home from the hospital. He is still sick, and the doctor told him that the hospital cannot do any more for him. They suggested him going into a place like a nursing home. I will call around tomorrow to find out how we can keep him home through to the end. I know of a system called COPES that will pay for home health. That is the best way.
Keep him and Sherry in your prayers please.