I am powerless over my aging and health process, and my life has become unmanageable.
1. Age I realized my health was failing. How did I feel?I was about 47 years old and feeling the pain of arthritis slowing me down quite a bit. Then I was packed for camping and had severe abdominal cramps, and went to the doctor. He told me I had diverticulitis and was putting me in the hospital. I refused because I was going camping and was all packed up. He told me to only eat protein and stay away from roughage, and to come in if I felt worse. So I ate steak that weekend.
2. Age & circumstance of loss of control What happened, How did I feel?
I was 48 and had a physical. The doctor told me I had high blood pressure and high triclycerides. I started my walking routine again and went vegetarian for 6 months and had another physical. Triglycerides went through the roof, and the doctor told me I was becoming Diabetic, and it was not my fault. (family genes). I went on medications, and it got worse, then went on insulin.
3. Growing preoccupation: Thinking, planning, Were you preoccupied with your health? Did your health start to get in the way of your other activities? What and how?
I was not feeling well, tired all the time, in pain all the time, my breathing was getting worse. I quit planning campouts because it wore me out too much, the weekends were for catching up on rest, and vacations were to sleep in daily (still are). My work was tiring me out, it was all I could do just to make it through the week. When I went anywhere, I planned ahead where I would park because it was hard to walk to and from large parking lots. My health was affecting my entire life.
1. What is your present physical condition? Is it what you want it to be? Can you manage your own body? When did you last have a physical? Dental checkup? Are you willing to improve your nutrition?
My health sucks! I cannot manage my own body. I get check ups all the time, keep my dental check ups and my teeth are fine. I try to eat healthy & less whenever possible.
2. Emotional and feeling life:
a) What is your self-image? Do you think you can manage yourself into being the person you want to be? What self image? ZERO!!
b) Try to see behavior patterns of unmanageability -- suppressing your feelings setting unrealistic expectations and goals for yourself and others. Setting yourself up to fail -- perfectionism. Irresponsibility, procrastination, harboring resentments, self pity, grandiose beliefs, guilt, anger.I feel all of that.
3. Spiritual life: Are you aware that you may be "spiritually bankrupt"? -- paranoid, suspicious, resentful, envious, untrusting, fearful, greedy, withdrawn, self-centered? I have a deep Faith, that is what gets me through each day. Feeling God in my life and giving Him my life every night. I try not to feel sorry for myself, I am grateful for all I have. I am thankful that I have what I have, and not MS or anything else worse. I am accepting what I have and trying to live with it.
4. Social and family life: How has your health affected your family? Well this is a family affair. My sister has all that I have only worse.
5. Occupational life: How are you handling your present job? Your career? I am getting by one day at a time. My job has been good to me. I go to work and give it my all while I am there, and come home and collapse.
In Summary: I AM CONVINCED THAT I AM POWERLESS OVER MY HEALTH AND THAT MY LIFE IS UNMANAGEABLE.
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ABOUT THE FACT THAT I AM POWERLESS? Give it to GOD
Step Two tomorrow