I couldn't stop myself!! I got these in an email and want to share them with my buddies! I'm not a male basher, really!! I love men!! I'm actually looking for a husband....can I have yours???
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,
"What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."
And they say blondes are dumb...
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A couple is lying in bed.. The man says,
"I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world"
The woman says, "I'll miss you..."
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"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he
stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the
neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
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He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I have wanted to
make love to you really badly.
She said - Well, you succeeded.
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He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing
board while I sit on the sofa and fart.
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He said - What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said - Turn sideways and look in the mirror
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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good-looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
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A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary.
On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been such a devoted couple she would grant each of them a very special wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
Gotta love that fairy!
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Have a great week!!!
