SECOND STEP GUIDE (Cont.)
In Step One, we first made the admission that we were, are now, and will remain powerless over alcohol, which implies , in no uncertain terms, that we have an obsession to drink and an allergy of the body that leads to either death or insanity. Secondly and more importantly, we came to recog¬nize that our lives have been, are now, and will remain unmanageable by us alone. This conviction that we are alcoholics and that our lives are unman¬ageable by us alone leads us naturally into Step Two.
Once again, Step Two can be viewed as having two aspects. The first aspect concerns the beginning of our spiritual development, which is the foundation of the A.A. program. Since we recognized that our lives have been, are now, and will remain unmanageable by us alone (having completed a thorough Step One), we must now come to grips with the fact that we need a new Manager, as the old one (the thinking mind, with its acquired defects of character) led us into the depths of deep despair, self-centeredness, loneliness, and an apartness from our True Self. We found that the thinking mind could not solve our problems. Thus the conclusion that we must start to find a new Manager of our life (a Power greater than ourselves) is paramount if we want to become happy, positive and loving as we are meant to be.
We came to believe -- that a Power exists which is greater than our¬selves -- and this belief is absolutely necessary if we are to honestly complete the remaining ten steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. At this point, all you really need is a truly open mind. (Twelve Steps & Twelve Tradi¬tions)
Thus, Step Two can become the springboard on which we can begin the journey toward spiritual awakening. Remember, all that is needed is will¬ingness, open-mindedness and rigorous honesty.
The second aspect of Step Two concerns sanity. "Sanity" involves living sanely. Since this step is about the restoration of sanity, how can this occur? We may not relate with "soundness of mind", but we surely can identify with insanity as being unsoundness of mind. (Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions) The True Self is sane, whereas the false self (the thinker with its acquired character defects) has not usually been an example of sane living. The problem facing us then is, how can we regain the sanity which is the True Self? By eliminating the acquired insane ways of living, we are left with the True Self and its sanity.
Step Two, properly approached, worked, and lived, will start the beginning of the end of our old life, and the beginning of our emergence into a new life. (Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions)
The purpose of writing the second step is to help us become aware of the acquired, destructive thinking that has wrecked our lives.
It may seem "nuts" doing all of this but keep on a-goin'.....
Go through the following examples and be as honest and specific as you are able to at this time. Give specific examples and situations from your own life. You are after the destructive, acquired character defects.
SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY
Answer the questions below specifically. Indicate how you are trying to understand your spiritual history or lack of it.
1. Have you ever believed that the thinking mind is all-powerful and that
it could solve all your problems?
2. Have you ever considered yourself to be an atheist or agnostic? If so, describe why.
3. Have you ever rejected organized religion? If so, what were your rea¬sons for doing so?
4. Did you at any time, consider the idea that a Power greater than your¬self might exist? If so, describe the attributes of that Power.
CURRENT SPIRITUAL ATTITUDES
Answer the questions below as honestly as you are able to at this point. Remember, this Power, greater than yourself, is your own concept. All that you really need is willingness and a truly open mind.
1. Are any of the following roadblocks -- to coming to believe -- present in your life? (a) indifference, (b) fancied self-sufficiency, (c) prejudice and (d) defiance.
2. A.A. and its suggested twelve steps have a spiritual foundation. What does this mean to you?
3. What do you consider the most important thing in your life today?
4. Do you doubt the existence of a Power greater than yourself? Explain.
5. What is your mental image of God?
6. Does a Power greater than yourself play a part in your daily life?
RESTORATION TOWARDS SANITY
"Sanity" is defined as "soundness of mind". (Twelve Steps & Twelve Tradi¬tions, p.33) What we are concerned with now, is becoming aware of the old patterns of insane thinking (the reactions toward people, places and things that caused havoc in our lives). Answer the questions below honestly and with a truly open mind. Remember, insanity is not a part of your True Self. Insanity exists in the acquired false self, which is not a part of the real you, so dig deep!
1. Do you have any fears in your life today? (fear of people, emotional insecurity, financial insecurity, etc.) List these fears.
2. Can you recognize self-centeredness in your life? If so, give examples.
3. Do you believe "The main problem of the alcoholic centers in his mind, rather than his body"? (Alcoholics Anonymous [big book], p.23) Why or why not?
4. What areas of your life do you feel that you have little or no control over? (family, job, A.A., spiritual or emotional) Why do you feel that you have little or no control over these areas?
5. Describe how the following feelings or attitudes got you into trouble:
(a) anger, (b) resentment, (c) jealousy, and (d) pride
6. Do you consider yourself to be a positive person? In what areas of your life are you positive?
7. Do you consider yourself as being a negative person? In what areas of your life are you negative?
8. What is your idea of the false self (the old self with its acquired defects of character that attempts to control your life)?
9. What do you think is your True Self and how do you find it?
10. Do you believe that a Power greater than yourself could restore you to sanity? How?
11. How am I going to live Step Two -- "Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity." -- in my life on a daily basis.
12. Write a summary or "picture" of yourself as you see yourself now (your good and bad points). Remember, the good points (assets) are the real you, and the bad points (liabilities) are the false you.
DO IT NOW..... FOR YOU !!!
WITH LOVE from the
Top of the Hill group
840 17th St.
San Diego, CA 92101
Shared with love, Candy Smith, Oak Harbor, Washington 1980
Phyllis Brett, Coupeville, Washington June 21, 1987
Friday, May 28, 2010
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
STEP TWO -- BRIEF OUTLINE
CAME TO BELIEVE THAT A POWER GREATER THAN OURSELVES
COULD RESTORE US TO SANITY.
1. None but a Higher Power can remove our obsession (acquired defects of character and the controlling old thinking mind).
2. Step Two is the beginning of the end of our old life (old ways of thinking -- false self), and the beginning of our emergence into a new way of life (transformation of the false self through elimination and change of our old ways of thinking).
3. Prerequisites for Step Two:
a) Alcoholics Anonymous does not demand that we believe anything.
b) To get sober and stay sober, we don't have to swallow all of Step
Two right now.
c) All you really need is a truly open mind.
4. When we stop arguing over a Higher Power, Step Two will gently and very gradually begin to infiltrate our life.
5. The road blocks of indifference, fancied self-sufficiency, prejudice and defiance will, if we allow them, impede our progress in Step Two.
6. The dilemma of the wanderer from faith is that of profound confusion (the old thinking still controlling our lives).
7. Humility and intellect can be compatible, provided we place humility first (the thinker is meant to be God's servant, not our master).
8. Remember, winners are always positive, and losers negative.
9. Defiance is the outstanding characteristic of many an alcoholic (so it's not strange that we have defied God also).
10. At few times had we asked what God's will was for us; instead we had been telling God what it ought to be.
11. Belief means reliance, not defiance.
12. We supposed we had humility when really we hadn't.
13. We remained self-deceived (praying, if we did, for our wishes instead of "Thy will be done") and so incapable of receiving enough Grace to restore us to sanity.
14. "Sanity" is defined as "soundness of mind". Yet no alcoholic, soberly analyzing his destructive behavior, can claim "soundness of mind" for himself.
15. True humility and an open mind can lead us to faith which is an assurance that God will restore us to sanity if we rightly relate ourselves to God.
16. The main problem of the alcoholic centers in his mind, rather than in his body.
17. Lack of power is our dilemma. We need to find a power by which we can live, and it has to be a Power greater than ourselves.
18. We found that as soon as we were able to lay aside prejudice and ex¬press even a willingness to believe in a Power greater than ourselves, we commenced to get results.
19. Self-sufficiency can not solve all our problems (the thinker can get us into situations but cannot get us out of them).
RECOMMENDED READING:
1) Alcoholics Anonymous (big book), Chapter 4 & chapter 5 through p.63, 1st
paragraph.
2) Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions, Step Two.
3) Came To Believe.
Part two of step two coming in a day or two.....
COULD RESTORE US TO SANITY.
1. None but a Higher Power can remove our obsession (acquired defects of character and the controlling old thinking mind).
2. Step Two is the beginning of the end of our old life (old ways of thinking -- false self), and the beginning of our emergence into a new way of life (transformation of the false self through elimination and change of our old ways of thinking).
3. Prerequisites for Step Two:
a) Alcoholics Anonymous does not demand that we believe anything.
b) To get sober and stay sober, we don't have to swallow all of Step
Two right now.
c) All you really need is a truly open mind.
4. When we stop arguing over a Higher Power, Step Two will gently and very gradually begin to infiltrate our life.
5. The road blocks of indifference, fancied self-sufficiency, prejudice and defiance will, if we allow them, impede our progress in Step Two.
6. The dilemma of the wanderer from faith is that of profound confusion (the old thinking still controlling our lives).
7. Humility and intellect can be compatible, provided we place humility first (the thinker is meant to be God's servant, not our master).
8. Remember, winners are always positive, and losers negative.
9. Defiance is the outstanding characteristic of many an alcoholic (so it's not strange that we have defied God also).
10. At few times had we asked what God's will was for us; instead we had been telling God what it ought to be.
11. Belief means reliance, not defiance.
12. We supposed we had humility when really we hadn't.
13. We remained self-deceived (praying, if we did, for our wishes instead of "Thy will be done") and so incapable of receiving enough Grace to restore us to sanity.
14. "Sanity" is defined as "soundness of mind". Yet no alcoholic, soberly analyzing his destructive behavior, can claim "soundness of mind" for himself.
15. True humility and an open mind can lead us to faith which is an assurance that God will restore us to sanity if we rightly relate ourselves to God.
16. The main problem of the alcoholic centers in his mind, rather than in his body.
17. Lack of power is our dilemma. We need to find a power by which we can live, and it has to be a Power greater than ourselves.
18. We found that as soon as we were able to lay aside prejudice and ex¬press even a willingness to believe in a Power greater than ourselves, we commenced to get results.
19. Self-sufficiency can not solve all our problems (the thinker can get us into situations but cannot get us out of them).
RECOMMENDED READING:
1) Alcoholics Anonymous (big book), Chapter 4 & chapter 5 through p.63, 1st
paragraph.
2) Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions, Step Two.
3) Came To Believe.
Part two of step two coming in a day or two.....
Monday, May 24, 2010
Step one on health...
I am powerless over my aging and health process, and my life has become unmanageable.
1. Age I realized my health was failing. How did I feel?I was about 47 years old and feeling the pain of arthritis slowing me down quite a bit. Then I was packed for camping and had severe abdominal cramps, and went to the doctor. He told me I had diverticulitis and was putting me in the hospital. I refused because I was going camping and was all packed up. He told me to only eat protein and stay away from roughage, and to come in if I felt worse. So I ate steak that weekend.
2. Age & circumstance of loss of control What happened, How did I feel?
I was 48 and had a physical. The doctor told me I had high blood pressure and high triclycerides. I started my walking routine again and went vegetarian for 6 months and had another physical. Triglycerides went through the roof, and the doctor told me I was becoming Diabetic, and it was not my fault. (family genes). I went on medications, and it got worse, then went on insulin.
3. Growing preoccupation: Thinking, planning, Were you preoccupied with your health? Did your health start to get in the way of your other activities? What and how?
I was not feeling well, tired all the time, in pain all the time, my breathing was getting worse. I quit planning campouts because it wore me out too much, the weekends were for catching up on rest, and vacations were to sleep in daily (still are). My work was tiring me out, it was all I could do just to make it through the week. When I went anywhere, I planned ahead where I would park because it was hard to walk to and from large parking lots. My health was affecting my entire life.
1. What is your present physical condition? Is it what you want it to be? Can you manage your own body? When did you last have a physical? Dental checkup? Are you willing to improve your nutrition?
My health sucks! I cannot manage my own body. I get check ups all the time, keep my dental check ups and my teeth are fine. I try to eat healthy & less whenever possible.
2. Emotional and feeling life:
a) What is your self-image? Do you think you can manage yourself into being the person you want to be? What self image? ZERO!!
b) Try to see behavior patterns of unmanageability -- suppressing your feelings setting unrealistic expectations and goals for yourself and others. Setting yourself up to fail -- perfectionism. Irresponsibility, procrastination, harboring resentments, self pity, grandiose beliefs, guilt, anger.I feel all of that.
3. Spiritual life: Are you aware that you may be "spiritually bankrupt"? -- paranoid, suspicious, resentful, envious, untrusting, fearful, greedy, withdrawn, self-centered? I have a deep Faith, that is what gets me through each day. Feeling God in my life and giving Him my life every night. I try not to feel sorry for myself, I am grateful for all I have. I am thankful that I have what I have, and not MS or anything else worse. I am accepting what I have and trying to live with it.
4. Social and family life: How has your health affected your family? Well this is a family affair. My sister has all that I have only worse.
5. Occupational life: How are you handling your present job? Your career? I am getting by one day at a time. My job has been good to me. I go to work and give it my all while I am there, and come home and collapse.
In Summary: I AM CONVINCED THAT I AM POWERLESS OVER MY HEALTH AND THAT MY LIFE IS UNMANAGEABLE.
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ABOUT THE FACT THAT I AM POWERLESS? Give it to GOD
Step Two tomorrow
1. Age I realized my health was failing. How did I feel?I was about 47 years old and feeling the pain of arthritis slowing me down quite a bit. Then I was packed for camping and had severe abdominal cramps, and went to the doctor. He told me I had diverticulitis and was putting me in the hospital. I refused because I was going camping and was all packed up. He told me to only eat protein and stay away from roughage, and to come in if I felt worse. So I ate steak that weekend.
2. Age & circumstance of loss of control What happened, How did I feel?
I was 48 and had a physical. The doctor told me I had high blood pressure and high triclycerides. I started my walking routine again and went vegetarian for 6 months and had another physical. Triglycerides went through the roof, and the doctor told me I was becoming Diabetic, and it was not my fault. (family genes). I went on medications, and it got worse, then went on insulin.
3. Growing preoccupation: Thinking, planning, Were you preoccupied with your health? Did your health start to get in the way of your other activities? What and how?
I was not feeling well, tired all the time, in pain all the time, my breathing was getting worse. I quit planning campouts because it wore me out too much, the weekends were for catching up on rest, and vacations were to sleep in daily (still are). My work was tiring me out, it was all I could do just to make it through the week. When I went anywhere, I planned ahead where I would park because it was hard to walk to and from large parking lots. My health was affecting my entire life.
1. What is your present physical condition? Is it what you want it to be? Can you manage your own body? When did you last have a physical? Dental checkup? Are you willing to improve your nutrition?
My health sucks! I cannot manage my own body. I get check ups all the time, keep my dental check ups and my teeth are fine. I try to eat healthy & less whenever possible.
2. Emotional and feeling life:
a) What is your self-image? Do you think you can manage yourself into being the person you want to be? What self image? ZERO!!
b) Try to see behavior patterns of unmanageability -- suppressing your feelings setting unrealistic expectations and goals for yourself and others. Setting yourself up to fail -- perfectionism. Irresponsibility, procrastination, harboring resentments, self pity, grandiose beliefs, guilt, anger.I feel all of that.
3. Spiritual life: Are you aware that you may be "spiritually bankrupt"? -- paranoid, suspicious, resentful, envious, untrusting, fearful, greedy, withdrawn, self-centered? I have a deep Faith, that is what gets me through each day. Feeling God in my life and giving Him my life every night. I try not to feel sorry for myself, I am grateful for all I have. I am thankful that I have what I have, and not MS or anything else worse. I am accepting what I have and trying to live with it.
4. Social and family life: How has your health affected your family? Well this is a family affair. My sister has all that I have only worse.
5. Occupational life: How are you handling your present job? Your career? I am getting by one day at a time. My job has been good to me. I go to work and give it my all while I am there, and come home and collapse.
In Summary: I AM CONVINCED THAT I AM POWERLESS OVER MY HEALTH AND THAT MY LIFE IS UNMANAGEABLE.
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ABOUT THE FACT THAT I AM POWERLESS? Give it to GOD
Step Two tomorrow
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Okay, here is some of my answers...
1. Age and circumstances of first drink -- how did you feel?
As a toddler, I would go around emptying the drinks left on tables from my parents visitors. People actually left drinks? That just isn't right!!
2. Age and circumstances of first loss of control -- what happened? How
did you feel?
The first I remember is on Pennington Hill (before houses) with Linda, Carol, Cheryl and me. We drank warm beer through a straw. I remember very little of that night.
3. Age when you were first concerned about your drinking -- what if anything did you do about it?
I was 19. I worked at the Seagull Restaurant and would oversleep and be late for work. Helen fired me then hired me back. This went on for a while. I did nothing about this.
4. Others who have been concerned about your drinking -- Who? When? Why? Okay, now this is getting personal. My boss, and everyone around me was getting concerned. Mostly Barry. He was a guy that I knew from the restaurant. His mom and my mom were drinking buddies. He was against people getting drunk because of his mom.
No more personal answers from me here or I won't be honest. But you get the idea. Write your answers on your own computer and save them for your eyes only. If there is a part of the questions you want to share, by all means share it! You might help someone else by it.
Be honest with yourself.
Love ya, Phyllis
As a toddler, I would go around emptying the drinks left on tables from my parents visitors. People actually left drinks? That just isn't right!!
2. Age and circumstances of first loss of control -- what happened? How
did you feel?
The first I remember is on Pennington Hill (before houses) with Linda, Carol, Cheryl and me. We drank warm beer through a straw. I remember very little of that night.
3. Age when you were first concerned about your drinking -- what if anything did you do about it?
I was 19. I worked at the Seagull Restaurant and would oversleep and be late for work. Helen fired me then hired me back. This went on for a while. I did nothing about this.
4. Others who have been concerned about your drinking -- Who? When? Why? Okay, now this is getting personal. My boss, and everyone around me was getting concerned. Mostly Barry. He was a guy that I knew from the restaurant. His mom and my mom were drinking buddies. He was against people getting drunk because of his mom.
No more personal answers from me here or I won't be honest. But you get the idea. Write your answers on your own computer and save them for your eyes only. If there is a part of the questions you want to share, by all means share it! You might help someone else by it.
Be honest with yourself.
Love ya, Phyllis
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Step One
Everyone can benefit from working the 12 steps. Before Alcoholics Anonymous came along, the Oxford Group (a Christian group) had these steps. When Bill Wilson became sober he was searching for "tools" to keep sober and help others. He came upon the Oxford group through a fellow drunk and a dear friend. They rewrote them and inserted the word Alcohol for their benefit.
Are you powerless over something? Other people in your lives, eating disorder, work issues, your past, abuse issues, anything? Then come along with me and work these steps. I am going to go slow with these. Maybe a step a week or longer. You can work them at your own pace. They will always be here so you can come back to them and start out where you left off. Copy and paste them into your word program and keep them. They were given to me by one of my sponsors. Candy Smith, she got them from "The Top of the Hill Group" from California.
I am going to work these steps on my aging, and health issues. I am powerless over the process of aging, and I have some disabling aflictions. Diabetes, obesity, arthritis, Diverticulitis, Fibromyalgia, C.O.P.D., ADHD, OCD, depression, E-I-E-I-O etc! There are some things I can change in my life that will help me to live with these. The doctor told me that this does not need to be a death sentence. HMPPPFH!! What the heck does he know, he is 6'5" and skinny!
The depression I understand. I am actually mourning my youth. Youth meaning my forties. I was very active then. I was camping, in the Fire Department, working on the ambulance, working at Island Transit, Walking three miles after work, eating healthy mostly vegetarian. Then I turned 48 and WHAM!! Diverticulitis, then Diabetes, also the arthritis.
Along with the medications, came the weight gain. I gained 100 pounds when I went on insulin! It happens to alot of people. Not everyone, but of course I had to be one of them! Diabetes runs in my family. My dad had it, his uncle, my sister, my brother was on metformin so he was coming down with it, so there was no escaping it. My doctor said it is not my fault. That still doesn't help me feel better about myself.
Sooo, I quit drinking when I was 38 years old, June 21, 1987. Keeping busy and full of energy helped me stay sober. I have had my moments when sobriety was at risk. My mom died, my dad died, my brother got cancer and took a year and a half to die a long excrutiating death. Alcohol is no longer an option. If I don't focus myself it could very easy become an option and that would be the end of me!
So here we go. Open up Word document and copy and paste the step and get to work!! The answers are for you alone. No one needs to read it. If you have questions, email me and I can help.
phyllisbrett1@comcast.net
Hold on folks, here we go!!
REMEMBER, REPLACE THE WORD ALCOHOL WITH THE PROBLEM YOU ARE WORKING ON.
FIRST STEP GUIDE
"ADMITTED WE WERE POWERLESS OVER ALCOHOL
-- THAT OUR LIVES HAD BECOME UNMANAGEABLE".
Step One consists of two distinct parts: (1) the admission that we have a mental obsession to drink alcohol(Smoke) and this allergy of the body will lead us to the brink of death or insanity, and (2) the admission that our lives have been, are now, and will remain unmanageable by us alone.
The first half of the first step -- We admitted we were powerless over alcohol -- is the beginning of the A.A. program which we strive to perfect on a daily basis. Since drinking is but a symptom of our disease, we must realize that the thinking mind with its acquired traits, habits and character defects allowed us to develop this obsession of the mind -- to drink. "By going back in our own drinking histories, we could show that years before we realized it we were out of control, that our drinking even then was no mere habit, that it was indeed the beginning of a fatal progression." (Twelve & Twelve)
This idea of personal powerlessness goes against what the thinking mind is telling us. Only through utter defeat (having hit our own bottom) are we then able to take the first step toward liberation and strength. This utter defeat is necessary so we can become convinced, beyond any doubt, that we are powerless and our life is unmanageable by us alone. Until we so humble ourselves (accept the devastating weaknesses and all their consequences), our sobriety -- if any -- will be precarious.
The fact that our lives were unmanageable is apparent, else why would we be involved in A.A.? However, it is not readily apparent to most of us that, even now, our lives are still unmanageable by us alone. This fact must be driven home. This realization, within our lives on a daily basis -- that we can not manage our own lives -- forms the basis for taking each of the twelve steps of A.A. in sequence.
In the process of accepting our powerlessness and unmanageability, we must be willing to put aside pride, the pride which nearly killed us. Although the doing of Step One can be painful, the road to recovery begins with surrender.
The facts of your life are just that -- facts. It is not the purpose of this step to judge where you have been right or wrong. Therefore, the purpose of writing out the first step is to admit to yourself honestly that you are powerless and your life is unmanageable by you alone.
Go through the following examples and be as honest and specific as you can. Give specific examples and situations from your own life. Write down the facts -- what, where, when, how much -- as they have occurred in your life. Try to see in your life how your disease has progressed.
DO IT NOW!!!
Addiction History: Answer the questions below specifically -- dates, amounts, places, feelings, etc.
1. Age and circumstances of first drink -- how did you feel?
2. Age and circumstances of first loss of control -- what happened? How
did you feel?
3. Age when you were first concerned about your drinking -- what if anything did you do about it?
4. Others who have been concerned about your drinking -- Who? When? Why?
5. What feelings did you get from drinking? When did you not obtain those feelings? How did you feel then? How much did you drink regularly? What was your longest period of abstinence and how did you accomplish this?
Powerlessness: At some point in your history you became alcoholic, became powerless over alcohol, a mood altering chemical. It happened over a period of time. Define the process as it happened to you by answering the questions below. You will discover how your disease affected you and changed you so that you compromised your basic values.
1. What did you drink, how much, how often? How and when did this change as time went on?
2. Growing tolerance: Did it take more to make you feel good? Did it finally take more just to make you feel normal? Did you gulp drinks? Order stiffer drinks? Protect your supply? Hide your supply -- at home, in the car, at your job? What hangover symptoms did you have?
3. Growing preoccupation: Thinking, planning, or scheming how to drink or set up situations to drink. Were you preoccupied with drinking even when sober? Did drinking start to get in the way of your other activities? What and how? (Daytimes, vacations, increased drinking time) Did your other activities then start to get in the way of your drinking? Did you increase your drinking during times of stress? (Job/family/personal) Did you begin to drink at particular times more regularly? (After work, weekends, before going to bed, before leaving the house, morning drinking)
4. What accidents were caused by your drinking? What dangerous situations did your drinking get you into?
5. How and when did you attempt to cut down, or control your use of alcohol? How did you feel as a result of your attempts to control or stop your drinking?
Keep going!
6. Loss of Control: You used alcohol and then it started to use you! That's when you lost control. Give specific examples on each of the following:
a) Family: Broken promises, drunken embarrassing behavior in front of your family, sacrificing family for your drinking, money for drinking, physical and verbal abuse of yourself and your family.
b) Legal: Drunk driving, drunk and disorderly, divorce, jail, bankruptcy, theft, etc.
c) Social: Loss of friends/hobbies/community activities? Problems with sexuality?
d) Job: Were you absent? Lose promotions? Were you fired from your job(s) or threatened with it? Did you quit your job(s) due to your drinking? What were the impacts of going to work hungover? Or drinking while at work?
e) Physical: Were you hospitalized, or told by your doctor to cut down on your drinking? Were you using alcohol and/or other drugs as a medicine to sleep or relieve stress? What were your withdrawal symptoms? Did you have blackouts?
Unmanageability: drinking or not, your ENTIRE LIFE begun to show signs of your disease. The harder you tried to "manage", the worse it became. Give examples of how your life has been and is now unmanageable.
1. What is your present physical condition? Is it what you want it to be? Can you manage your own body? When did you last have a physical? Dental checkup? Are you willing to improve your nutrition?
2. Emotional and feeling life:
a) What is your self-image? Do you think you can manage yourself into being the person you want to be?
b) Try to see behavior patterns of unmanageability -- suppressing your feelings (with or without alcohol), setting unrealistic expectations and goals for yourself and others. Setting yourself up to fail -- perfectionism. Irresponsibility, procrastination, harboring resentments, self pity, grandiose beliefs, guilt, anger.
c) Are you aware that your drinking caused you to blame others for your problems? What special problems do you think caused you to drink? (of course, nothing can make us drink-- but what was your delusion?)
3. Spiritual life: Are you aware that you may be "spiritually bankrupt"? -- paranoid, suspicious, resentful, envious, untrusting, fearful, greedy, withdrawn, self-centered?
4. Social and family life: How has your drinking affected your family? How is your communication with your family? How much time do you spend with any of your family members? How do you feel about that?
5. Occupational life: How are you handling your present job? Other jobs you've had? Your career? Your education?
6. Financial matters: Give examples of your irresponsibility with money -- borrowing money, writing bad checks, misuse of credit cards, not paying your bills on time, whatever applies to you.
In Summary:
ARE YOU CONVINCED THAT YOU ARE POWERLESS OVER ALCOHOL AND THAT YOUR LIFE IS UNMANAGEABLE, EVEN WHEN SOBER?
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ABOUT THE FACT THAT I AM POWERLESS?
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ABOUT THE FACT THAT MY LIFE IS UMNANAGEABLE BY ME?
WITH LOVE,
from the Top of the Hill group
840 17th St.
San Diego, CA 92101
Shared with love, Candy Smith, Oak Harbor, Washington June, 1980
Phyllis Brett, Coupeville, Washington June 21, 1987
Are you powerless over something? Other people in your lives, eating disorder, work issues, your past, abuse issues, anything? Then come along with me and work these steps. I am going to go slow with these. Maybe a step a week or longer. You can work them at your own pace. They will always be here so you can come back to them and start out where you left off. Copy and paste them into your word program and keep them. They were given to me by one of my sponsors. Candy Smith, she got them from "The Top of the Hill Group" from California.
I am going to work these steps on my aging, and health issues. I am powerless over the process of aging, and I have some disabling aflictions. Diabetes, obesity, arthritis, Diverticulitis, Fibromyalgia, C.O.P.D., ADHD, OCD, depression, E-I-E-I-O etc! There are some things I can change in my life that will help me to live with these. The doctor told me that this does not need to be a death sentence. HMPPPFH!! What the heck does he know, he is 6'5" and skinny!
The depression I understand. I am actually mourning my youth. Youth meaning my forties. I was very active then. I was camping, in the Fire Department, working on the ambulance, working at Island Transit, Walking three miles after work, eating healthy mostly vegetarian. Then I turned 48 and WHAM!! Diverticulitis, then Diabetes, also the arthritis.
Along with the medications, came the weight gain. I gained 100 pounds when I went on insulin! It happens to alot of people. Not everyone, but of course I had to be one of them! Diabetes runs in my family. My dad had it, his uncle, my sister, my brother was on metformin so he was coming down with it, so there was no escaping it. My doctor said it is not my fault. That still doesn't help me feel better about myself.
Sooo, I quit drinking when I was 38 years old, June 21, 1987. Keeping busy and full of energy helped me stay sober. I have had my moments when sobriety was at risk. My mom died, my dad died, my brother got cancer and took a year and a half to die a long excrutiating death. Alcohol is no longer an option. If I don't focus myself it could very easy become an option and that would be the end of me!
So here we go. Open up Word document and copy and paste the step and get to work!! The answers are for you alone. No one needs to read it. If you have questions, email me and I can help.
phyllisbrett1@comcast.net
Hold on folks, here we go!!
REMEMBER, REPLACE THE WORD ALCOHOL WITH THE PROBLEM YOU ARE WORKING ON.
FIRST STEP GUIDE
"ADMITTED WE WERE POWERLESS OVER ALCOHOL
-- THAT OUR LIVES HAD BECOME UNMANAGEABLE".
Step One consists of two distinct parts: (1) the admission that we have a mental obsession to drink alcohol(Smoke) and this allergy of the body will lead us to the brink of death or insanity, and (2) the admission that our lives have been, are now, and will remain unmanageable by us alone.
The first half of the first step -- We admitted we were powerless over alcohol -- is the beginning of the A.A. program which we strive to perfect on a daily basis. Since drinking is but a symptom of our disease, we must realize that the thinking mind with its acquired traits, habits and character defects allowed us to develop this obsession of the mind -- to drink. "By going back in our own drinking histories, we could show that years before we realized it we were out of control, that our drinking even then was no mere habit, that it was indeed the beginning of a fatal progression." (Twelve & Twelve)
This idea of personal powerlessness goes against what the thinking mind is telling us. Only through utter defeat (having hit our own bottom) are we then able to take the first step toward liberation and strength. This utter defeat is necessary so we can become convinced, beyond any doubt, that we are powerless and our life is unmanageable by us alone. Until we so humble ourselves (accept the devastating weaknesses and all their consequences), our sobriety -- if any -- will be precarious.
The fact that our lives were unmanageable is apparent, else why would we be involved in A.A.? However, it is not readily apparent to most of us that, even now, our lives are still unmanageable by us alone. This fact must be driven home. This realization, within our lives on a daily basis -- that we can not manage our own lives -- forms the basis for taking each of the twelve steps of A.A. in sequence.
In the process of accepting our powerlessness and unmanageability, we must be willing to put aside pride, the pride which nearly killed us. Although the doing of Step One can be painful, the road to recovery begins with surrender.
The facts of your life are just that -- facts. It is not the purpose of this step to judge where you have been right or wrong. Therefore, the purpose of writing out the first step is to admit to yourself honestly that you are powerless and your life is unmanageable by you alone.
Go through the following examples and be as honest and specific as you can. Give specific examples and situations from your own life. Write down the facts -- what, where, when, how much -- as they have occurred in your life. Try to see in your life how your disease has progressed.
DO IT NOW!!!
Addiction History: Answer the questions below specifically -- dates, amounts, places, feelings, etc.
1. Age and circumstances of first drink -- how did you feel?
2. Age and circumstances of first loss of control -- what happened? How
did you feel?
3. Age when you were first concerned about your drinking -- what if anything did you do about it?
4. Others who have been concerned about your drinking -- Who? When? Why?
5. What feelings did you get from drinking? When did you not obtain those feelings? How did you feel then? How much did you drink regularly? What was your longest period of abstinence and how did you accomplish this?
Powerlessness: At some point in your history you became alcoholic, became powerless over alcohol, a mood altering chemical. It happened over a period of time. Define the process as it happened to you by answering the questions below. You will discover how your disease affected you and changed you so that you compromised your basic values.
1. What did you drink, how much, how often? How and when did this change as time went on?
2. Growing tolerance: Did it take more to make you feel good? Did it finally take more just to make you feel normal? Did you gulp drinks? Order stiffer drinks? Protect your supply? Hide your supply -- at home, in the car, at your job? What hangover symptoms did you have?
3. Growing preoccupation: Thinking, planning, or scheming how to drink or set up situations to drink. Were you preoccupied with drinking even when sober? Did drinking start to get in the way of your other activities? What and how? (Daytimes, vacations, increased drinking time) Did your other activities then start to get in the way of your drinking? Did you increase your drinking during times of stress? (Job/family/personal) Did you begin to drink at particular times more regularly? (After work, weekends, before going to bed, before leaving the house, morning drinking)
4. What accidents were caused by your drinking? What dangerous situations did your drinking get you into?
5. How and when did you attempt to cut down, or control your use of alcohol? How did you feel as a result of your attempts to control or stop your drinking?
Keep going!
6. Loss of Control: You used alcohol and then it started to use you! That's when you lost control. Give specific examples on each of the following:
a) Family: Broken promises, drunken embarrassing behavior in front of your family, sacrificing family for your drinking, money for drinking, physical and verbal abuse of yourself and your family.
b) Legal: Drunk driving, drunk and disorderly, divorce, jail, bankruptcy, theft, etc.
c) Social: Loss of friends/hobbies/community activities? Problems with sexuality?
d) Job: Were you absent? Lose promotions? Were you fired from your job(s) or threatened with it? Did you quit your job(s) due to your drinking? What were the impacts of going to work hungover? Or drinking while at work?
e) Physical: Were you hospitalized, or told by your doctor to cut down on your drinking? Were you using alcohol and/or other drugs as a medicine to sleep or relieve stress? What were your withdrawal symptoms? Did you have blackouts?
Unmanageability: drinking or not, your ENTIRE LIFE begun to show signs of your disease. The harder you tried to "manage", the worse it became. Give examples of how your life has been and is now unmanageable.
1. What is your present physical condition? Is it what you want it to be? Can you manage your own body? When did you last have a physical? Dental checkup? Are you willing to improve your nutrition?
2. Emotional and feeling life:
a) What is your self-image? Do you think you can manage yourself into being the person you want to be?
b) Try to see behavior patterns of unmanageability -- suppressing your feelings (with or without alcohol), setting unrealistic expectations and goals for yourself and others. Setting yourself up to fail -- perfectionism. Irresponsibility, procrastination, harboring resentments, self pity, grandiose beliefs, guilt, anger.
c) Are you aware that your drinking caused you to blame others for your problems? What special problems do you think caused you to drink? (of course, nothing can make us drink-- but what was your delusion?)
3. Spiritual life: Are you aware that you may be "spiritually bankrupt"? -- paranoid, suspicious, resentful, envious, untrusting, fearful, greedy, withdrawn, self-centered?
4. Social and family life: How has your drinking affected your family? How is your communication with your family? How much time do you spend with any of your family members? How do you feel about that?
5. Occupational life: How are you handling your present job? Other jobs you've had? Your career? Your education?
6. Financial matters: Give examples of your irresponsibility with money -- borrowing money, writing bad checks, misuse of credit cards, not paying your bills on time, whatever applies to you.
In Summary:
ARE YOU CONVINCED THAT YOU ARE POWERLESS OVER ALCOHOL AND THAT YOUR LIFE IS UNMANAGEABLE, EVEN WHEN SOBER?
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ABOUT THE FACT THAT I AM POWERLESS?
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ABOUT THE FACT THAT MY LIFE IS UMNANAGEABLE BY ME?
WITH LOVE,
from the Top of the Hill group
840 17th St.
San Diego, CA 92101
Shared with love, Candy Smith, Oak Harbor, Washington June, 1980
Phyllis Brett, Coupeville, Washington June 21, 1987
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Introduction to the Twelve Steps
Starting out on the Steps
To help us work the First Step in the most meaningful way, that is, to accept at the feeling level our powerlessness over people, places and things, and the unmanageability of our lives, we offer the following guide. We urge that it be used thoroughly by writing it down on paper, even though one may feel uncomfortable doing so. Unless we are willing to take an honest, detailed look at what our alcoholism(smoking)(Eating)(whatever) has done to our lives, there is no chance we can sustain a healthy, serene lifestyle. If we don't clearly see how bad the problem is, we don't feel the need to do anything about it.
Before beginning, it is important to understand that working the First Step is not a confession of character defects or faults; it is simply an honest look at how our alcoholism (or whatever) has harmed our lives and the lives of others. While writing out the First Step, we try to keep in mind the following points:
1. Being honest about the seriousness of our alcoholism (or whatever) and
being willing to follow the Twelve Steps will assure a good
chance of recovery.
2. We have a better chance of sustaining a healthy lifestyle if we
accept that we are powerless over alcohol (or whatever)(and over our
lives) without the help of the Twelve-Step Program.
3. Our drinking (or whatever) affects our lives and the lives of others.
4. Writing out the First Step will help us feel the need to do some
thing about our drinking (or whatever).
5. The First Step is simply an honest look at what our drinking (or whatever) has
done to us and others, not a confession of faults.
Answer all questions as thoroughly as possible, citing specific incidents and approximate dates or ages, etc.
STEP ONE - BRIEF OUTLINE
"We admitted we were powerless over alcohol (or whatever)--
That our lives had become unmanageable".
1. Every "natural" instinct cries out against the idea of personal power-lessness. (Defects of the thinking mind)
2. We perceive that only through utter defeat are we able to take our first step toward liberation and strength. (Making the admission that we are unmanageable by us!)
3. Until we so humble ourselves (accept the devastating weakness and all its consequences), our sobriety -- if any -- will be precarious.
4. The principle: We shall find no enduring strength until we first admit complete defeat. (That no human power could have relieved our alcoholism)
5. We are victims of a mental obsession -- thinking (drinking is only a symptom) so subtly powerful that no amount of human power could break it.
6. By going back in our drinking histories, we could show that years before we realized it, we were out of control, that our drinking even then was no mere habit, that it was indeed the beginning of a fatal progression.
7. Few people will sincerely try to practice the A.A. program until they have hit their bottom through utter defeat.
8. In order to practice A.A.'s remaining eleven steps WE MUST ADOPT NEW ATTITUDES AND TAKE NEW ACTIONS.
9. We must become as open minded to conviction and as willing to listen as the dying can be.
RECOMMENDED READING:
1) Alcoholics Anonymous (big book), chapter 5 through ABC's on P.60.
2) Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step One.
We will start Step one tomorrow.
To help us work the First Step in the most meaningful way, that is, to accept at the feeling level our powerlessness over people, places and things, and the unmanageability of our lives, we offer the following guide. We urge that it be used thoroughly by writing it down on paper, even though one may feel uncomfortable doing so. Unless we are willing to take an honest, detailed look at what our alcoholism(smoking)(Eating)(whatever) has done to our lives, there is no chance we can sustain a healthy, serene lifestyle. If we don't clearly see how bad the problem is, we don't feel the need to do anything about it.
Before beginning, it is important to understand that working the First Step is not a confession of character defects or faults; it is simply an honest look at how our alcoholism (or whatever) has harmed our lives and the lives of others. While writing out the First Step, we try to keep in mind the following points:
1. Being honest about the seriousness of our alcoholism (or whatever) and
being willing to follow the Twelve Steps will assure a good
chance of recovery.
2. We have a better chance of sustaining a healthy lifestyle if we
accept that we are powerless over alcohol (or whatever)(and over our
lives) without the help of the Twelve-Step Program.
3. Our drinking (or whatever) affects our lives and the lives of others.
4. Writing out the First Step will help us feel the need to do some
thing about our drinking (or whatever).
5. The First Step is simply an honest look at what our drinking (or whatever) has
done to us and others, not a confession of faults.
Answer all questions as thoroughly as possible, citing specific incidents and approximate dates or ages, etc.
STEP ONE - BRIEF OUTLINE
"We admitted we were powerless over alcohol (or whatever)--
That our lives had become unmanageable".
1. Every "natural" instinct cries out against the idea of personal power-lessness. (Defects of the thinking mind)
2. We perceive that only through utter defeat are we able to take our first step toward liberation and strength. (Making the admission that we are unmanageable by us!)
3. Until we so humble ourselves (accept the devastating weakness and all its consequences), our sobriety -- if any -- will be precarious.
4. The principle: We shall find no enduring strength until we first admit complete defeat. (That no human power could have relieved our alcoholism)
5. We are victims of a mental obsession -- thinking (drinking is only a symptom) so subtly powerful that no amount of human power could break it.
6. By going back in our drinking histories, we could show that years before we realized it, we were out of control, that our drinking even then was no mere habit, that it was indeed the beginning of a fatal progression.
7. Few people will sincerely try to practice the A.A. program until they have hit their bottom through utter defeat.
8. In order to practice A.A.'s remaining eleven steps WE MUST ADOPT NEW ATTITUDES AND TAKE NEW ACTIONS.
9. We must become as open minded to conviction and as willing to listen as the dying can be.
RECOMMENDED READING:
1) Alcoholics Anonymous (big book), chapter 5 through ABC's on P.60.
2) Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step One.
We will start Step one tomorrow.
It's About Time!
Well I see it has been 6 months since I last blogged. I seem to get in a routine coming home from work. I throw off the clothes (mainly bra) get my comfy togs on, get a fresh cup of coffee, sit at my computer and get on Facebook, play wordscraper, Super Farkle, Farkle 2, and three peaks. Then I check emails, then I sit and watch the news and crochet for a few hours then go to bed.
Lately I have been letting "life" get in my way. I am totally frustrated with my health issues. I tried to go swimming and my face would break out in a burning rash all over my face. (chlorine reaction). I tried exercising and my legs and back would get REALLY painful. I just found out I have "leaky valve" in my leg that is making blood pool in my lower leg causing the pain and swelling. One thing after another which leads me to what I plan on doing here on Blogspot.
Next month, June 21st, God willing, I will have 23 years sober.
I have gone through and worked the 12 steps many times. Now I plan on working the steps again. I am going to post the steps and the workbook one at a time here on my blog.
If you have life problems and are frustrated with it (weight, drinking, drugs, family members, work, etc) you can replace the word alcohol with your problem. Me I am replacing it with weight and health.
You can work these steps at your own pace and secretly so nobody but you will know what you are doing. Take advantage of this folks, it is a gift from me to you. I do have to warn you first. I do not recommend replacing the word GOD with anything else. He is what gets me through any situation!! That was the hardest part of the steps for me. Accepting GOD and letting Him take over my life. Since I opened my mind and heart and let God take over, it has been so much easier.
Later on today or tomorrow I will start step one. So get ready for the ride of your life, it is quite the ride!!
Later, folks!!
Lately I have been letting "life" get in my way. I am totally frustrated with my health issues. I tried to go swimming and my face would break out in a burning rash all over my face. (chlorine reaction). I tried exercising and my legs and back would get REALLY painful. I just found out I have "leaky valve" in my leg that is making blood pool in my lower leg causing the pain and swelling. One thing after another which leads me to what I plan on doing here on Blogspot.
Next month, June 21st, God willing, I will have 23 years sober.
I have gone through and worked the 12 steps many times. Now I plan on working the steps again. I am going to post the steps and the workbook one at a time here on my blog.
If you have life problems and are frustrated with it (weight, drinking, drugs, family members, work, etc) you can replace the word alcohol with your problem. Me I am replacing it with weight and health.
You can work these steps at your own pace and secretly so nobody but you will know what you are doing. Take advantage of this folks, it is a gift from me to you. I do have to warn you first. I do not recommend replacing the word GOD with anything else. He is what gets me through any situation!! That was the hardest part of the steps for me. Accepting GOD and letting Him take over my life. Since I opened my mind and heart and let God take over, it has been so much easier.
Later on today or tomorrow I will start step one. So get ready for the ride of your life, it is quite the ride!!
Later, folks!!